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~~Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers~~




You are a PHOENIX in your soul and your wings make a statement. Huge and born of flame, they burn with light and power and rebirth. Ashes fall from your wingtips. You are an amazingly strong person. You survive, even flourish in adversity and hardship. A firm believer in the phrase, 'Whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger,' you rarely fear failure. You know that any mistake you make will teach you more about yourself and allow you to 'rise from the ashes' as a still greater being. Because of this, you rarely make the same mistake twice, and are not among the most forgiving people. You're extremely powerful and wise, and are capable of fierce pride, passion, and anger. Perhaps you're this way because you were forced to survive a rough childhood. Or maybe you just have a strong grasp on reality and know that life is tough and the world is cruel, and it takes strength and independence to survive it. And independence is your strongest point - you may care for others, and even depend on them...but when it comes right down to it, the only one you need is yourself. Thus you trust your own intuition, and rely on a mind almost as brilliant as the fire of your wings to guide you.You are eternal and because you have a strong sense of who and what you are, no one can control your heart or mind, or even really influence your thinking. A symbol of rebirth and renewal, you tend to be a very spiritual person with a serious mind - never acting immature and harboring a superior disgust of those who do. Likewise, humanity's stupidity and tendency to want others to solve their problems for them frustrates you endlessly. Though you can be stubborn, outspoken, and haughty, I admire you greatly.Image Source: stp.ling.uu.se/ ~klasp/Boris.html
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Is that really me? Some of that result appeals and some really doesn't. For example that ending. I can be immature and I don't look down on those who also are, I think we need a bit of immaturity about us to stay 'sane'. *Bites lip* The jury is still out on whether or not I like this result.

Read more... )

I'm home

Sep. 4th, 2006 09:31 am
velvetina_belle: (Default)
A quick note to say that I am home and we think *fingers crossed* that the operation was a success. As you may guess I am pretty happy about this and so shall not whine about the holes in my stomach.

Though I was reminded how much I dislike hospitals. Cold, white, daunting places that they are. I was simply blessed with actually having decent nurses and not the evil ones I usually have. I didn't get much sleep but thats pretty much expected right?

While I was in I read 'Blott on the landscape' which Mother recommended to me, and I found it a very humerous look at the corruption of British politics. Deals with the story of Lady Maud and her corrupt husband Sir Giles, who has a thing for bondage that Maud doesn't approve of. Slightly disturbing and very silly but I shall watch the TV series anyway if only for the fact that David Suchet is in it and I adore him as an actor.

The only thing that I am slightly nervous about is that during the operation they had to put a tube down my throat (yes, very nice!) and it has damaged my throat somewhat. So I am praying that it hasn't messed up my singing voice too much, though right now I'm more concerned with that fact that talking is rather difficult. My parents on the other hand love the fact that I'm so quiet. I'm comforting myself with a mixture of raspberry sorbet and chocolate.

Anyway I think thats all. I'm still not entirely with it so you shall have to excuse my randomness. *Smile*
velvetina_belle: (Default)
*Laugh* Yeah, I've got to a point where I've had to start about the terrifying concept of truely growing up...scary. I have a feeling I'm not going to deal with the transition well, it all seems so stupidly big. I know I've been known to say recently 'We all have to deal with adult things sooner or later'...however I've decided its my perogative not to practice what I preach *giggle* Okay, so I know there are just some things that you can't run from.

It all started with getting my results last week...I knew they weren't going to be as good as I hoped, I mean going down with an attack halfway through them was always going to cause some problems. But I desperatly hoped to not get below a 'c' grade, because that is still considered above average where I am. I finally came out with two C's and a B...and I was devastated about the stupid B rather than the C's. I so desperatly wanted an A in English and I was about four marks off it and for a good while I was heartbroken about it. Its just that out of all the academic things I do English is the only thing that comes sorta naturally to me...and I managed to mess it up. Being ill isn't an excuse. Well, whatever it means I can't go to my first choice of University. In someways I am horrified by this and in other ways I am thrilled.

People who have spoken to me any amount will know that I am crazy about acting but I mainly applied to Uni to do law as a sort of way to please my parents as they don't support my idea of going into acting. However, that didn't stop me taking a gap year to partly attempt to get into the 'Guildhall' which is a leading acting school here. But now my parents are all over me about the exams and how I can appeal against decisions and things and when I simply try to explain to them that I am not all that bothered about it and am quite content to find my way down another of lifes paths they don't get it.

I cannot help feeling that I need to get out from underneath their infulence. Especially my mother. Hell, I cannot help feel that I need to get out of England as a whole. I mean I love this country, anyone who asks me knows that surely, but I cannot help feel that I've gotten into something of a rut here. I need a fresh start away from the pain of old memories, get away from the scars and the worry about satisfying the people I see on a daily basis and simply live for myself.

So with this idea nervously fluttering around in my mind I set out to do some research and found an acting school in America that I think I could be happy at. It has a great reputation and...I don't know as soon as I found it I almost felt it calling to me....is that weird? Thing is it doesn't accept you until you are twenty...but I considered using this extra two years for several things:

1) To re-sit my English...I want that frickin A. Not for Uni but simply for personal satisfaction. It may sound selfish but I deserve that grade, illness or no.

2) To get over my health issues. As much as I am loathe to admit it I need to deal with it. Although it is finally confirmed I'm going into hosiptal on the 1st...they arsed about a bit before giving me a definate answer.

3) I wondered if it would possibly be a wise idea to move out there beforehand and get used to the country/get a job. Therefore I'd know the place and have some sort of financial security.

I know I have several problems facing me. One being that I have no clue what-so-ever how to go about setting this in motion. None...how do I just up and leave, find accomidation, find a job...its crazy! I also haven't even whispered to my parents about my plans yet. It won't be a fun chat. They are going to flip out at even the suggestion and I'm scared they are going to be able to talk me out of it. They manage to talk me out of so many things that I love with guilt trips about mums illness and responsiblities. Not sure at all how to handle it. I'm not to bothered about telling my friends. We all know that not many of them are going to be all that heartbroken. Also...as much as I want it I'm terrified. Such a big step, sometimes I think I'm crazy even to contemplate it.

Eh, I guess nothing is set in stone. I've just got to go with the flow for now. I just hate dealing with stuff like this.

I'm also contemplating finally getting over my terror of needles and getting a tattoo...*Grins* Okay, its nice to dream anyway.

I'll tell you what also scared the heck out of me the other day, I managed to get boiling water poured over my right hand *wrinkled nose* Yes, I'm a disaster. Luckily I got it under cold water pronto, but the idea of not being able to use my hand is a terrifying one. However, it seems I got lucky and have just got another scar to add to the collection.

Hmm, *thinks* I'm so full of serious stuff I really feel I should have something fun to cheer you all up. After all there are so many good things out there to be happy about.

Oh I know! I'm writing again...not technically something the world should be happy about but after a spell of nothing for me it was wonderful. I reveled in the fact that I looked up from my keyboard, I felt a sharp pain in my neck, my back cracked, my throat was dry and the clock was four hours later on then when I'd last looked. The words poured out...I'd happily put up with that everday for the sense of relief that writing gave me.

I think thats all from me for now.

Cat

Aug. 15th, 2006 09:56 pm
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Ergh, I've had one of my less amusing days. I had to go see a doctor today and I have never been so humiliated and sick. *Shakes head* Seriously, I'm not saying more than that but I have had to avoid others. It brought my temper out which is hard and I have a pretty nasty temper...but I still feel sick on top of everything else.

Anyway I haven't been able to figure out why my pictures are so big yet but I have a couple that aren't too big, so...

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/salemkitten.jpg

This is my main cat when he was just a little kitten, ha hard to imagine that he's grow into a meter long wuss huh?

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/Project1.jpg

This is him now. He's sitting on a pile of my Dad's clothing as he was trying to pack for a night away. Salem has this fasciantion with sitting on shoes *shrug* Don't know why.

With my cat Pebbles the only one I could find of her was one when she was a kitten and I'm holding her. I'm like four in the picture, oddly enough I can still remember that day. And as for my other cat Misty...she's an oddball but for some reason her photo is still huge. But I shall figure it out!

Ergh, anyway I'm going to go find some disraction!

Random

Aug. 11th, 2006 12:20 am
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Hey all. *Waves and sighs* As usual I haven't been showing my face around here as much as I should...or being late with pretty much everything, not talking to people as much as I'd like. *Smile* I will get better I promise its just that right now- as per usual- I've got some stuff on my plate that occasionally means that I physically cannot use my computer. I wasn't going to say anything because I don't want any pity and this post isn't looking for any kind of sympathy, I've simply got to the point where I feel guilty because I'm neglecting people who I consider to be my friends and want to let them know I am still here and care. So I shall simply explain the basics and move on, you are more than welcome to skip. I don't mind.

You're welcome to skip...its nothing fun )

Okay now I've got that out of my system, I shall apologise for being a depressing sod and move on.

Comment to this post and I'll assign you a letter. Then you post this in your own journal with 10 things you enjoy that start with that letter, and give other people letters if they request them! Thus, the cycle continues. How exciting!

I was given the letter 'A' by [livejournal.com profile] exploding_candy because 'vowels need love too'. Lol, anyway at first I was stuck trying to think of ten things startiing with 'A' that I enjoy but I just let my mind go and this was the result.

1. Angels: Why? This should be obvious from my previous post but I can explain more. I understand angels, they bring me peace and comfort. I know my angel and they are a big part of my life.
2. Animals: In the animal kingdom I have ones that place above others in my affections but in general I love animals. Heck we are animals so how can I help but love them?
3. Analysis: Most people who know me know that I adore to analyse texts. I love to try and understand what the writer means, the hidden clues to deeper understanding. My last english teacher called my analysis skills 'exceptional', a friend told me I was just 'freaky'. Take your pick folks.
4. Andrew Lloyd Webber: Like his musicals, pure and simple.
5. Anime: I admit I am a bit obsessed or at least getting that way. I will try basically anything you suggest if I can get my hands on it. I was very recently introduced to 'Gravitation' and it already has a place in my heart...along with all of the other ones I've ever watched. *Grin*
6. American Idiot: Its an album I listened to alot and still like. It has some fun track but also the slower ones, a good mix. I know [livejournal.com profile] st_minority is with me on this one.
7. Antonio: The character from my favorite Shakesphere play. 'The Merchant of Venice', every time it gets to the courtroom scene I get chills.
8. Apples: A nice juicy, crunchy apple. I love it...I mean come one was I the only one cheering at the end of DMC when Barbossa finally managed to eat his apple?!
9. Apparel: Fancy word for clothes. Tends to be assocaited with the more elegant use of clothes...right up my street.
10. All of you guys: Corny but true. You lot help make my world a better place. I wouldn't lose you for anything.

Eh, considering I found it hard to start with I've got ten more things in mind but oh well!

Hmm, I also was going to put up a picture of my cats as I promised some folks a while ago but me being really silly somehow the pics are massive so I'm gonna try to figure out how to make them smaller first.

Anyway thats all from me.
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Hey all! I know I’ve been missing for a while, sorry about that but to be fair it hasn’t all been my fault. I did try to post a few days ago but for some reason the site wouldn’t let me so I’m going to tag it onto the end of this one. The other reason I haven’t posted recently is because typically I’m ill again it sucks and I’m in quite a lot of pain but right now I’m dealing with it best as possible. Anyway, in my time of need I thought I’d do a post on Guardian Angels. There are many reasons that I’ve chosen to research this topic and write about it and most of you will know some of those reason, but there are too many and to varied to go into right now.

Read more... )

Next my bit on relaxation and then I promise I’ll be quiet lol.


Read more... )

Right I am done; FINALLY I hear you cry. *Laugh* Come on give a sick girl a break you meanies….aww you know I adore you all. Now to go nosey some more around that site [livejournal.com profile] exploding_candy showed me.
velvetina_belle: (Default)
I'm very tired at the moment but before stumbling into bed I had to come and have a looksie and decided to do this meme from [livejournal.com profile] theidolhands who also somehow managed to get in there twice...very odd. St Min also managed it *raises eyebrow* eh, to tired to consider right now.

LiveJournal Username
Fifteen men on a dead man's chest!
Cutlass or pistol?
What is the name of your pirate ship?
Where is your secret pirate base?
What kind of loot do you prefer?
What do you and your crew prefer to be called?
Parrot or monkey?
Argh!
Your capable first mateglamourcorpse
Your bumbling cabin boy with a heart of goldpiscaria
The aloof, yet honorable, pirate with a mysterious pastinitial_aitch
Is always the first one into the frayst_minority
Is the naval officer who ruthlessly pursues your shiptheidolhands
Is the comical pirate who is always drunk on grogtheidolhands
Is currently in Davy Jones's lockerst_minority
The amount of money you make as a pirate$155,490
This Fun Quiz created by Lynn at BlogQuiz.Net
New news site! News collected from over 100 worldwide news sources




*Giggle* Oh well, have to go now as sleep is becoming essential..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz I will reply to others posts when I wake up.
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Just a little bit of rememberance from when I was a child that I stumbled over today.

Read more... )

Catchup...

May. 30th, 2006 10:28 pm
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Eh, seems like quite a while since I've done a 'serious' update. Genenerally recently life has been too hectic to be true. After all I've left school now and just generally been revising and re-hearsing. My life revolves around those two R's basically. Its hectic!!

My last day was great, a total laugh. I dressed up as the devil which was pretty fun though I did get a few funny looks when I was walking down the main street at half past six in the morning...as you would I guess to be fair. However I survived the day and went on to the ball that evening. It was all well and good for a while until the dancing started when James jumped on my foot on the first dance...I ended up sitting the night out. However I put my time to good use and bonded with a friend that I'd sorta lost touch with. Anyway here are some piccies, just cos I'm in a good mood.

My friend James as Mr. Bean...when he talks its actually a great impression!:
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13007.jpg


My friend as an angel...when she really isn't!!!
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13017.jpg


A group of us looking like nutters...yeah I really don't look like me.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13039.jpg

Two of the best guys I know, Chris and Andy.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13029.jpg

We always say these two are a couple, they deny it though.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13054.jpg

First ball photo, yes I am the blonde.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13151.jpg

These guy's I've been friends with since I was ten.
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13184.jpg

The ice on my foot! Yay...
http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g140/Velvetina_Kaiba/LASTDAYOFY13238.jpg

I do have better pics but they are on my other comp. Also I have a video of my friends being Indiana Jones but yousendit hates me and wont let me use it. *Laughs* Oh well.

Last night I went out to the westend to see Chicargo...LOVED IT! I just sang along and cheered and generally had a great time. Reccomend going and seeing it to anybody. I was so tired when I got in but it was totally worth it. *Laughs* Anyway thats all from me.
velvetina_belle: (Default)
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?

ARGH..no honestly that was the first thing I thought. After last night I was in too much pain and too tired to do anything but crash into bed. So, when I woke this morning my hair was at crazy angles from the hairspray and I had panda eyes. Not a good look people!

2. When is the next time you will have sex?

Eh I haven't gone there yet and don't intend to until I meet someone worthwhile. Nuff said.

3. What word rhymes with "Fuck"

Wah?Why? Urm...*Thinks* DUCK, yeah thats right duck.

4. Favorite planet?

Betelgeuse- Where Zaphod Beeblebrox was born ya know!

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?

I don't actually have one, but if it was going to be anyone it would be my father

6. What is the ring on your phone?

Build me Up Buttercup!!!!

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A fuzzy one with Snoopy on it...ok so its a PJ top but its late over here!

8. Do you "label" yourself?

Don't approve of labelling other but occasinally yeah I lable myself.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?

Bare feet!

10. Bright or Dark Room?


Am I allowed dim?

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey?

Does this mean me or the person stole it of? Eeek confusion!

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?

Urm, interesting situation. I think I'd sleep on one for half of the night then when I traditionally wake up at two for an hour I'd sleep in the other one.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sitting with an ice pack on my foot wishing I was home in bed.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?

Ah the last one , can I make it the second to last one. My last one is a limerick sent to me about me from a friend when drunk. My second to last one was 'Where r u luv dad'.

15. Who is the last person you saw?

My Mother...yeah mini arguement

16. What's a word that you say a lot?

Antidisastablishmentarianism....well not really. I sat fuckwanktitsbugger alot. Yeah I say it all as one word and yeah I know its not lady like *grin* Oh well sometimes I find a situation calls for it.

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?

I honestly can't remember. No-ones told me that for a while....quite possibly it was Matt all those months ago at Willy Wonka. *Laugh*

18. Last furry thing you touched?
Ah so many way's I could phrase this but quite simply...my cat, Salem.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?

4 paracodool, 6 paracetamol, 1 glass of wine and 4 bottles of coke.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?

Zilch. Zippo. Nada.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
Five

22. Your worst enemy?

Mrs. Doyle...or maybe at the moment James.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
A dragon

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?

'Behave'...which isn't as odd as it sounds when considering I was going to bed...well maybe. But I know what I meant

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take?

Have to admit I'd go for the cash...I'd be able to buy however many books I want and finance a life where I can write for a living.

26. Do you like someone?

Is this a trick question?

27. The last song you listened to?

'The Emporers New Clothes' By Elton John

28. If the last person you talked to randomly got mad at you..

They often do, ya learn to live with it.

29. If you could punch one person in the face who's in your life right now who would it be?

An aquaintance of my from sixth form, she is the most irritating annoying malicious two-ace person you could ever meet.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?

I have a hot water bottle on my left foot, does that count?


Ok I stole this meme off of [livejournal.com profile] theidolhands, whose fun answers inspired me to give it a go.


I will eventually have pics and things up of my last day and the ball along with details about everything. But now I am going to sleep. =D
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Its my last day at school! Yay *does happy dance* Although it is five past eight in the morning which, admittedly, is a bit of a bummer as I am still half asleep. Seriously why does my bus get me here so early when lessons don't start until nine? Crazy stuff. However since I was all alone in the common room, I decided to find a computer and update this. The fact that we arn't meant to use the computers for personal use means nothing to me because they can't really punish me anymore.

We are supposed to have dressed up for the last day and I decided to come as a devil, was orginally going to be an angel until I discovered that I have no funds in my bank that will allow it. So I stuck to my usual black and red clothes. I am wearing a black wig though which I find highly amusing, also reminds me why I've never dyed my hair black. However with the black make-up and bright red lipstick it looks in character...not to mention the horns =D I did feel slightly bad when I walked downstairs this morning and my cat ran away from me. I mean he wouldn't let me near him, bless Salem he's a big wuss at heart. Although I was getting some funny looks walking down the street this morning, maybe its just me and not that cat.

However, do have to be all beautified by this evening. It sounds bad but after all this the effort ahead just seems knackering. And being surrounded by a bunch of drunk morons doesn't appeal either. However, if I don't put in an appearance I will never hear the end of it from my friends. I may just take a camera and go picture happy. If you are very lucky I will post photos...actually my evening may as well go towards something, if only that.

But today has actually got me thinking. Its the end of an era (of sorts) for me...how many other ends am I going to go through? An end to my gap year. End of my holidays. End of Uni. Deaths are a sort of end. Friends will get married, that kind of an end of a type of friendship. *Smiles* Slightly morose, I know. But oh well. I'm not really all that good at dealing with ends. I'm bound to end up in tears before the end of today. But i geuss what has to be said is that generally every end starts a new beggining. However, if you find out it doesn't don't blame me!!

Anyway I will cheer up at some point because Matt's coming over to see me all 'prettyfied' as he put it. Bless, its odd to think that if I still know him in 5/7 years I will go and watch him get ready for his ball. I hop[e it happens.

Anyway I must go as a firend has arrived and is demanding attention! :D
velvetina_belle: (Secrets)
I warn you all in this post my typing/spelling may be more erratic than usual but I am typing with one hand...I've managed to break my thumb on my left hand. How? I honestly have no idea, I swear I must have done it in my sleep because I got up, went to college, sat down in business and suddenly noticed that my thumb was black and hurt like a bitch. Crazy stuff.

Anyway on better news I break up on Friday, like we have our final ball and then do our exams and I quite possibly never have to go to another lesson again. How cool is that? It seems to have been a long time in coming, too long if you ask me. It'll be nice to finally have sometime for me and to do somethings i've been dying to for ages. Not to mention i'm looking foward to wearing the pretty dress...well actually I would have rather worn a tux but all of my friends moaned at me and told me I couldn't...so I caved into peer pressure. Oh well should be fun anyway!
velvetina_belle: (Default)
*Giggles* Ok the title is a bit random but its to do with a CD/band that I recommend at the moment:

Panic!at the disco- A fever you can't sweat out. Its a fun, eclectic mixture of tunes. From little bits of techno to medival type piano. Well I'm rather fond of it anyway, if you can find some of their songs just to listen to I would.

Also I'm recommending a book, "The Time Travellers Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger. I may have mentioned this before. I know that when [livejournal.com profile] initial_aitch asked for a book recommendation I told them about this one and they enjoyed it. I have just finished re-reading it and loved it once again. Its a heartwarming beautiful story.


Hmm random note, does anyone else out there have Angel Cards ? They are cards that you put into a container and have words on them such as: Relaxation, Celebration etc. And they basically show what your day is going to focus on, you have to just pick the first one your hand is drawn too. The words don't always mean what you think they mean so you do have to double check with the book you recieve with the pack. Anyway I find them oddly satisfying. *Grins*

Anyway I may have...or actually may not have mentioned not so long ago that I have given up on the medical profession as a whole. Unfortunatly I am going to be made to eat my words as I'm booked at the hospital on Thursday. I don't know whats going to happen *shakes head* I've been sort of bullied into going back but I guess the old saying runs through my head: If at first you don't succeed and all that rot.

However am in a fairly good mood as have just finished watching QI, nothing like Stephan Fry's witty repartee to amuse me beyond belief. Found out some very interesting facts about Naoh's ark...for instance there were seven sheep aboard the ark as opposed the the generally thought two. After that I got watching a programme about Stalin and russian architecture which was oddly interesting, *whistles* some of those buildings. Wow.

Anyway that is all from me for now.
velvetina_belle: (Default)
I will be doing a longer post later on - Yes I know its about time I surfaced- but I would just like to ask if anyone knows how to put links to music on here...oh and pictures...or simply inset pictures into the post. I'm totally clueless as technology isn't really my thing and despite reading the help guide, which by the way confused me, I'm still clueless! Cheers!

CUDDLES

Birthday!!

Apr. 23rd, 2006 12:09 am
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Lol its just ten past 12 on April the 23rd and I just wanted to celebrate the fact that I am now 18.

Yeah I actually haven't got much more to say than that, well actually I do have things that I want to write about but I am exhausted so they can wait lol.

Anyway just to say that the people I have met here have made me a better, happier person and I think you are all totally fab. *Smile*

My room

Apr. 17th, 2006 11:08 pm
velvetina_belle: (Default)
My room is absolutely sacred to me. I mean I cannot stand anyone being inside my room without me there to make sure that nothing is changed. I just seem to have this weird obsession with everything being perfect. Not necessarily tidy, I'll be the first to admit I am not likely to win any neat awards, but I have a certain layout to my room that makes me feel good. I have candles placed in various nooks all around my room, and books (my true love) that mean a lot to me or comfort me are in places that are easy for me to grab when I need them. Being the eccentric writer that I am (Not that anybody ever see's much of what I've written) I have various pens spread throughout my room and peices of paper where I've jotted down thoughts/ideas that I want to develop further. And of course there are my beloved tarot decks. I have four decks that I am especially connected with, dragon, witches, egyptian and angels. Very rarely do I actually read tarot for other people, its something that I keep very personal to myself, but often I will just sit and suffle one of those decks.

So imagine my horror today when I returned home to find my room completly changed. I mean totally changed, not just minor details (which admittedly would throw me slightly out of wack) but big things.

As soon as I stood outside my bedroom door I sensed something wrong, before even going into the room I went downstairs and yelled at my mother what the hell she thought she was doing going into my room.
"I just wanted to make your bed..." Totally disregarding that I am the one that always makes my bed for the precise reason I cannot stand to have someone in my room, so then I very calmly asked why she had felt it nessesary to move anything else about.
"Well I just bent down to do the corners and I saw a pile of papers, all torn around the edges and it looked so untidy just sitting there I had to move it and once I got started I just couldn't seem to stop." *Groan* Seriously the woman has lived with me for very nearly eighteen years and she can't remember that I am very picky about this sort of thing.

Resignedly I trudged back up the stairs to see the extent of the damage and my mother (totally clueless) followed me, again why couldn't she pick up that I was pissed and leave me alone. Our conversation vaugely followed these lines.

"Mother, why the hell are all of my candles grouped together in the centre of the table?" " Well they just look so neat that way, and imagine how pretty it will look when you have them all burning together!"

"Right, well then where on earth have all of my dragon statues gone?" "Oh they were taking up so much room I put them with the family statues downstairs."

"And my books? You moved my books!!!!" "Well yes, I put them on the bookcase downstairs, we'll all be able to read them that way." I can understand that with some of them but why my complete works of Shakespeare? You HATE Shakesphere! "Well you never know...."

*Sigh* "Right fine....but could you please tell me where you've put those stacks of paper, they were rather important." Oh dear were they? Well you should have mentioned that before dear I'm afraid that I took them for rubbish and dumped them in a big binliner. pause.... "YOU DID WHAT???!!!" "Well I'm sure that you'll be able to sort them out from the bag, it'll be fine.

"Right fine whatever...wait a minute why are my tarot cards all together?" "Well they were all in different places and none of the pairs were together so i put all of the matching ones together. Far more organised now." Loooong pause. "Right, thank you Mother. I'll see you later."

And then she left...singing, bloody singing. *bangs head on desk* Tarot cards lose their aura, so to speak, when handled by someone other than their owner and to be mixed together in such a way...well lets just say I'm going to have to put them all out in the next full moon. *Sigh* Either way it freaked me out so much that I couldn't spend time in the room today, the energy felt all wrong. However I'm in it now several hours later, I still feel sick in my stomach about the way it feels but I have moved my candles back and my statues. Theres nothing i can do about the tarot cards for a while and I'm going to be up all night sorting out my writing papers. I'll nab my books when my mum goes to sleep, I'm not going to be able to sleep until I get it as fully restored as possible.

I don't know though, maybe the fact that my mother suddenly got it into her head to 'organise' my room was an indication that it is time for me to slightly change the energy patterns in my room. After all I've changed a lot recently, so why shouldn't my surroundings too? Hmm its something to ponder.

Anyway, I knows its silly to get worked up about something as silly as a room. But to me its important, it is a space for me and I am very choosy about how I live. Please someone tell me I'm not the only person who gets this worked up about rooms!
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Hey there! God I dread to think how long it is since I've seriously sat down at my computer and come on here. But I'm back and am a happier person which is great. I've had a great time recently and have a few happy points to share in hope that it spreads the happiness!

First point that I'm currently happy about is that in nine days I'm going to have my 18 BIRTHDAY. 23rd of April, folks think of me that day please because I'm going to be so crazily hyper!!

Second point is that the play that I was directing has gotten to the National Theatre. I'm the first ever under 18 (JUST!) to get a play at the national, I am so happy about that. Its made all of the hell I've gotten from it totally worth it. *dances*

Third I went to see Rocky Horror. I have to say it was quite possibly the best night of my life. I learnt all of the callouts which just enchanced the experiance and just generally had a great time. Although at the end a random transvestite that I met and I had to be kicked out by Franknfurter (Yes I know thats wrong! lol) because we wouldn't stop doing the Time Warp. Seriously if you haven't been GO!

Fourthly my drama group is doing a caberet soon and I've jumped into that feet first. I'm doing lots of things, including a scene from Willy Wonka (YAY working with Matt again as well as revisiting one of my best roles ever. But I am gonna have to deal with the bear again) but I am also singing a David Bowie song, Life On Mars (Yes Idol Hands I can see you grinning at this particular line up) I'm doing lots of other things too, but it feels so darn good to be on the stage again after directing!

Anyway in connection to a post that [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] recently did 'The Demon' we got into an interesting talk about how the light can also adversely effect you and well as the darkness. With that in mind I thought that I'd post some of the thoughts we came up with and other thoughts that I have on the subject.

As anyone who has ever read one of my older posts knows, I have my fair share of demons that I was always trying to run away from, desperatly trying to reach towards the light and escape. Well I have given up on that, in this world it simply isn't possible. Don't try you will only make yourself miserable. Seriously do as I have done, don't cage your demons. Instead embrace them listen to what they have to say but also take your angels and listen to what they have to say. Ideally you will be able to meld your darkness and light into one thing that lets you see in shades of grey rather than simply in black and white. I promise you that it has made my life scarily better, I'm the same person...I will admit that things still get me down afterall I am only human, however it is far easier to to find the silver lining around the cloud.

However what about those who actually seem to shun the light? Those who prefer to hide in shadows, never being seen, hardly ever being remembered. What do they get out of the darkness that they don't get from light? Well its exactly that we tease them about, they have a certain anonymity that allows them to go through life without having to truely examine what they are doing. The light exposes them, exposes the flaws that they wish to hide. However I think that once you embrace your flaw, what you are, you are to a certain extent bound to become a happier -hell healthier- person.

Now yes I hear the dark lovers out there crying in outrage that they most certainly are not afraid of the light, and that they are perfectly happy with any so called falws that they may have. I hurry to insist that simply because you may be attracted to the darker side of life (I myself am, as demonstrated that I belong to darksidewonka) that you are not a dark person. In fact those who are attracted to the dark generally seem to be the most adapted to life and its pitfalls (note GENERALLY) I think that is because those who are dark lovers have often been through a phase of true darkness. They understand it, the are even friends with it, however they also know what its like to bask in the light. They have found the best of both worlds.

So there you are I say embrace the demons and angels in your soul. Make them work together and life will seems better, I promise.

Bored

Mar. 16th, 2006 08:39 pm
velvetina_belle: (Default)
I am very very ....VERY bored of resting so...I found memes!!!!! lol


According to experts, my personality type is :
Assasin for hire
Ink Blot Personality TestOther people like me display these traits.
  • They drive a honda
  • They have been abducted by aliens
  • They are lawyers
  • They have long tongues
  • Take the Ink Blot Personality Quiz at JokesUnlimited.com


    Considering my tounge IS long and that I may end up as a lawyer that is pretty creepy



    Naughty QuizAccording to experts, I am :

    51% Naughty
    Take the Naughty Quiz at JokesUnlimited.com


    see I am a sweetie really



    Purity TestAccording to experts, I am :

    83% Pure
    Take the Purity Test at JokesUnlimited.com


    see that confims it again. :P haha

    Keh now my back hurts so I'm off.
    lol

    Resting

    Mar. 15th, 2006 06:22 pm
    velvetina_belle: (Default)
    I have been told that the best thing for me to do is rest. Dontcha love it when the doc's say that to you? It basically means you've got to put up with whatever it is you've done. When I fell down my stairs I knocked my head pretty hard and I still can't get rid of this annoying headache and I've made a crack in one of the bones in my lower back. So nothing too serious and I will get better. I just have to be careful of how I sit, walk...pretty much do anything so that I don't antagonise my back.

    Keh I guess that teaches me for being slightly careless when standing on the stairs, not gonna do that again in a rush. Anyway just thought I should let people know.
    velvetina_belle: (Default)
    Hey guys. I may be out of action for a couple of days...or I may not. I fell down my stairs a little while ago and hit my head pretty hard. Now I can't stop being sick, blacking out and get rid of the ringing in my ears. Not to mention I have this awful stabbing pain in my lower back which has swelled up and gone black. blergh.

    Anyway my Dad is insisting on my going to the hospital. Though I am sure I'm ok I guess it can't hurt to go for a check up just incase. But since I've been MIA so much I thought it best to come and give people some messages (whilst I'm feeling slightly better) so that they don't fret.

    Initial_Aitch- I'm looking foward to those emails that we talked about, I promise to check my inbox.

    St_Min- Hey sweetie. I hope everything is going well for you. You've been pretty quiet lately. Contact me and let me know how things are going.

    Idol_Hands- Sorry I haven't reviewed the lastest chap of Is It Scary yet, I haven't had a chance to read it yet. I promise its the first thing I will do when I get home.

    Ack I've got to go now. Hopefully I will be back in six hours or so but you can never tell with hospitals.

    xx

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