*Laugh* Yeah, my muses and I have a volatile relationship, my special 'voice' often has to interfere to makes us compramise. He gets quite frustrated actually.
I don't know why I started to write at such a young age, I've just always been attracted to words. One of my greatest fears is that with my deterorating eyesight that I'm going to get to a point where I can't read. Terrifies me beyond belief. Its on the same level as damaging my hands. *Shudders*
I'd love to be able to draw like you, to be able to convey images like that would be bliss. See when I was really young I loved to show people what I'd written. I used to be a very bright bubbley child who'd happily skip over to someone and start to chat with them. For one of my teachers I used to write a weekly piece of a story. *laugh* And then it went downhill. When you are 10/11 over here you have to do a set of exams in Science, English and Maths. The English exam was all based on creative writing so eveyone thought it was a given that I would get good marks. *Snort* Well the surprise was I got the lowest mark in the year group. My teacher was furious, protested the marking and generally threw up a massive fuss. But it didn't change anything. My parents and teacher sat me down and insisted that the exam board had been marking me on my handwriting (Which admittedly was appaling) and not the content. But in my mind I had convinced myself it was because I wasn't good enough. I remember coming home and destroying everything I'd ever written, crying the whole time. It was about that time I became introverted. Suddenly I was more likely to hide from people, to just sit in my room and do nothing, I think its one of the reasons I try to treat kids of that age like adults, I remember how adult my feelings were at that point in time and how frustrated I was at being treated like a child. I still wrote, but I wouldn't let anyone see it and destroyed it almost instantly. Even though now I've started to show people my work again I still get twitchy about it and I still hate the idea of my parents/friends reading what I've written. When it came to the creative writing at GCSE coursework I had nightmares. And thats my main arguement with the school system, I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who has been scarred like that. I think its so unfair to pressure kids like that. I'm just glad that my father decided to make copies of things for me and hide it until I realised that what happened wasn't my fault.
*Wide eyes* Oops, I am so sorry about going off on one like that. It just...I...Ah..Um. Most likely more than you ever wanted to know about my psyche and how its been affected *laugh* Yeah, I guess I'm still a bit bitter about the whole thing. I'm just thankful for discovering LJ, it's made me a better person. *Smile* Kooky, huh?
To keep my mother out of my room? *Ponders* Maybe get a lock for the door and reinforce it with steel, even then its not certain to keep her out. Yeah, I do get spurts of 'cleanliness', doesn't generally last long though. I survive best in chaos.
*Raises eyebrow* I guess sore muscles do give a certain amout of satisfaction. The Cellblock Tango is a routine from 'Chicago'. Theres one movement where I get my leg behind my head... we also do a high kick so that our leg goes straight up our body and sink into the splits. I've never done the splits before, and dang does it ache. I've got an all day rehersal tomorrow as well...*groan*
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: And now for the rest of the post
Date: 2006-06-01 10:34 am (UTC)I don't know why I started to write at such a young age, I've just always been attracted to words. One of my greatest fears is that with my deterorating eyesight that I'm going to get to a point where I can't read. Terrifies me beyond belief. Its on the same level as damaging my hands. *Shudders*
I'd love to be able to draw like you, to be able to convey images like that would be bliss. See when I was really young I loved to show people what I'd written. I used to be a very bright bubbley child who'd happily skip over to someone and start to chat with them. For one of my teachers I used to write a weekly piece of a story. *laugh* And then it went downhill. When you are 10/11 over here you have to do a set of exams in Science, English and Maths. The English exam was all based on creative writing so eveyone thought it was a given that I would get good marks. *Snort* Well the surprise was I got the lowest mark in the year group. My teacher was furious, protested the marking and generally threw up a massive fuss. But it didn't change anything. My parents and teacher sat me down and insisted that the exam board had been marking me on my handwriting (Which admittedly was appaling) and not the content. But in my mind I had convinced myself it was because I wasn't good enough. I remember coming home and destroying everything I'd ever written, crying the whole time. It was about that time I became introverted. Suddenly I was more likely to hide from people, to just sit in my room and do nothing, I think its one of the reasons I try to treat kids of that age like adults, I remember how adult my feelings were at that point in time and how frustrated I was at being treated like a child. I still wrote, but I wouldn't let anyone see it and destroyed it almost instantly. Even though now I've started to show people my work again I still get twitchy about it and I still hate the idea of my parents/friends reading what I've written. When it came to the creative writing at GCSE coursework I had nightmares. And thats my main arguement with the school system, I'm sure I'm not the only one out there who has been scarred like that. I think its so unfair to pressure kids like that. I'm just glad that my father decided to make copies of things for me and hide it until I realised that what happened wasn't my fault.
*Wide eyes* Oops, I am so sorry about going off on one like that. It just...I...Ah..Um. Most likely more than you ever wanted to know about my psyche and how its been affected *laugh* Yeah, I guess I'm still a bit bitter about the whole thing. I'm just thankful for discovering LJ, it's made me a better person. *Smile* Kooky, huh?
To keep my mother out of my room? *Ponders* Maybe get a lock for the door and reinforce it with steel, even then its not certain to keep her out. Yeah, I do get spurts of 'cleanliness', doesn't generally last long though. I survive best in chaos.
*Raises eyebrow* I guess sore muscles do give a certain amout of satisfaction. The Cellblock Tango is a routine from 'Chicago'. Theres one movement where I get my leg behind my head... we also do a high kick so that our leg goes straight up our body and sink into the splits. I've never done the splits before, and dang does it ache. I've got an all day rehersal tomorrow as well...*groan*
Lol, don't worry I don't mind.