I sometimes think my stuff isn't that hot either and wonder what the heck I'm doing with my time. *laughs* I've really enjoyed meeting/engaging with so many like-minded people though. I feel SO much less lonely now. I never would have guessed there were such a nice cluster of people like me out there. I want to find even more.
Secret plans that will piss off your parents, huh? *chuckles* Actually, they sound like pretty good plans. I think you are too bright/curious for where you live. Go ahead and come to California. Why not? The advice I gave to Velvitina works just as well for you. I also think that by leaving your comfort zone - you will learn more about yourself and you seem like a person who won't have to worry about all they have left behind. You will feel like you are moving more towards something than away from it. You are lucky to have that friend and I hope it works out.
May I suggest that you put some of that self-mutilation energy to good use and get yourself some piercings or a tatoo. Wait, you're too young for that huh? Mmnn...well, I think cutting feels pretty good. Awesome release, but I refuse to do it anymore. It takes strength to shove it down and I'm not particularly proud of it. It solves nothing. I actually try to put that same energy into cleaning and organizing stuff. Well, I used to (looks at sloppy apartment). It made me feel like even if I couldn't really fix anything about my situation that I could improve something even something small. I also like to turn to old works of creativity. Various projects. I work hard to turn the negative energy positive. That gets easier with practice and belief. Belief that you can be stronger, that although you can not always control what is handed to you in life, you can control how you react to it.
You must count your blessings. Especially the small ones - the breaths, the functioning legs, the marvelous brain, the country of your birth (especiallly as a woman), at times it won't feel like it...but possibilities abound! Even in Kansas. *smiles* Everyday you have a chance to touch a life. You must not give and expect to receive. Better not to give. The pregnant girl is not a friend - she is a person with more problems than she knows how to handle, so she can not bear the burden of yours. She is weak, hence the unprotected sex and pregnancy. I do hope she is at least considering abortion. It is STILL an option and she could not let ONE mistake affect the rest of her life. Too many young women are keeping the babies out of lonlyness or fear or I don't know. I say get a puppy. Babies grow up. They are HUMANS. The more a person HAS emotionally and financially, the better a parent they will be. We have so many young, poor parents now. *sigh...*
You must forgive in general. That is another key. Do not weigh yourself down. Follow your path true; let people join as they choose, be grateful for their presense, but do not curse them when they leave. You can only control you. You may also be surprised how such people may or may not drift back into your life. Accept them back if you choose, but do it on your terms. The sense of knowledge and control will be of a great comfort to you. Do not welcome back those who you do not wish to.
no subject
Secret plans that will piss off your parents, huh? *chuckles* Actually, they sound like pretty good plans. I think you are too bright/curious for where you live. Go ahead and come to California. Why not? The advice I gave to Velvitina works just as well for you. I also think that by leaving your comfort zone - you will learn more about yourself and you seem like a person who won't have to worry about all they have left behind. You will feel like you are moving more towards something than away from it. You are lucky to have that friend and I hope it works out.
May I suggest that you put some of that self-mutilation energy to good use and get yourself some piercings or a tatoo. Wait, you're too young for that huh? Mmnn...well, I think cutting feels pretty good. Awesome release, but I refuse to do it anymore. It takes strength to shove it down and I'm not particularly proud of it. It solves nothing. I actually try to put that same energy into cleaning and organizing stuff. Well, I used to (looks at sloppy apartment). It made me feel like even if I couldn't really fix anything about my situation that I could improve something even something small. I also like to turn to old works of creativity. Various projects. I work hard to turn the negative energy positive. That gets easier with practice and belief. Belief that you can be stronger, that although you can not always control what is handed to you in life, you can control how you react to it.
You must count your blessings. Especially the small ones - the breaths, the functioning legs, the marvelous brain, the country of your birth (especiallly as a woman), at times it won't feel like it...but possibilities abound! Even in Kansas. *smiles* Everyday you have a chance to touch a life. You must not give and expect to receive. Better not to give. The pregnant girl is not a friend - she is a person with more problems than she knows how to handle, so she can not bear the burden of yours. She is weak, hence the unprotected sex and pregnancy. I do hope she is at least considering abortion. It is STILL an option and she could not let ONE mistake affect the rest of her life. Too many young women are keeping the babies out of lonlyness or fear or I don't know. I say get a puppy. Babies grow up. They are HUMANS. The more a person HAS emotionally and financially, the better a parent they will be. We have so many young, poor parents now. *sigh...*
You must forgive in general. That is another key. Do not weigh yourself down. Follow your path true; let people join as they choose, be grateful for their presense, but do not curse them when they leave. You can only control you. You may also be surprised how such people may or may not drift back into your life. Accept them back if you choose, but do it on your terms. The sense of knowledge and control will be of a great comfort to you. Do not welcome back those who you do not wish to.