velvetina_belle: (Default)
Hey there! God I dread to think how long it is since I've seriously sat down at my computer and come on here. But I'm back and am a happier person which is great. I've had a great time recently and have a few happy points to share in hope that it spreads the happiness!

First point that I'm currently happy about is that in nine days I'm going to have my 18 BIRTHDAY. 23rd of April, folks think of me that day please because I'm going to be so crazily hyper!!

Second point is that the play that I was directing has gotten to the National Theatre. I'm the first ever under 18 (JUST!) to get a play at the national, I am so happy about that. Its made all of the hell I've gotten from it totally worth it. *dances*

Third I went to see Rocky Horror. I have to say it was quite possibly the best night of my life. I learnt all of the callouts which just enchanced the experiance and just generally had a great time. Although at the end a random transvestite that I met and I had to be kicked out by Franknfurter (Yes I know thats wrong! lol) because we wouldn't stop doing the Time Warp. Seriously if you haven't been GO!

Fourthly my drama group is doing a caberet soon and I've jumped into that feet first. I'm doing lots of things, including a scene from Willy Wonka (YAY working with Matt again as well as revisiting one of my best roles ever. But I am gonna have to deal with the bear again) but I am also singing a David Bowie song, Life On Mars (Yes Idol Hands I can see you grinning at this particular line up) I'm doing lots of other things too, but it feels so darn good to be on the stage again after directing!

Anyway in connection to a post that [Bad username or site: @] recently did 'The Demon' we got into an interesting talk about how the light can also adversely effect you and well as the darkness. With that in mind I thought that I'd post some of the thoughts we came up with and other thoughts that I have on the subject.

As anyone who has ever read one of my older posts knows, I have my fair share of demons that I was always trying to run away from, desperatly trying to reach towards the light and escape. Well I have given up on that, in this world it simply isn't possible. Don't try you will only make yourself miserable. Seriously do as I have done, don't cage your demons. Instead embrace them listen to what they have to say but also take your angels and listen to what they have to say. Ideally you will be able to meld your darkness and light into one thing that lets you see in shades of grey rather than simply in black and white. I promise you that it has made my life scarily better, I'm the same person...I will admit that things still get me down afterall I am only human, however it is far easier to to find the silver lining around the cloud.

However what about those who actually seem to shun the light? Those who prefer to hide in shadows, never being seen, hardly ever being remembered. What do they get out of the darkness that they don't get from light? Well its exactly that we tease them about, they have a certain anonymity that allows them to go through life without having to truely examine what they are doing. The light exposes them, exposes the flaws that they wish to hide. However I think that once you embrace your flaw, what you are, you are to a certain extent bound to become a happier -hell healthier- person.

Now yes I hear the dark lovers out there crying in outrage that they most certainly are not afraid of the light, and that they are perfectly happy with any so called falws that they may have. I hurry to insist that simply because you may be attracted to the darker side of life (I myself am, as demonstrated that I belong to darksidewonka) that you are not a dark person. In fact those who are attracted to the dark generally seem to be the most adapted to life and its pitfalls (note GENERALLY) I think that is because those who are dark lovers have often been through a phase of true darkness. They understand it, the are even friends with it, however they also know what its like to bask in the light. They have found the best of both worlds.

So there you are I say embrace the demons and angels in your soul. Make them work together and life will seems better, I promise.


Feb. 24th, 2006 11:00 pm
velvetina_belle: (Default)
I don't know whats wrong with me, I've just got back from the opening of the play that I directed all bar one scene of and it was a total sucess. So why do I feel like sobbing my eyes out, crawling into bed and never facing the world again?

Well I kind of know why but in a way I have no right to feel this way, but it was kinda like after we finished perfoming it and we had the whole group discussion with the other groups and it just got to me. Everyone was raving over the actors and how amazing they were, nobody mentioned how well it was thought out or how the stage had been set well. They were all like 'I like how so and so moved like this and did that. They acted very well' nobody appreciated that I'd taken hours figuring out every single move in minute detail to make sure that it looked right or that the actors didn't block each other, nooo the actors did it all by themselves apparently. Then just to top it off the head Drama director of our whole theatre group started mentioning how weel the person who had directed one scene had done and how wonderful their idea's had been, before reprimanding me for something I didn't do. We have the assesed performance on March the 18th but I have half a mind to refuse to give them the notes that I made and to tell them to go stuff it since they apparently are doing such a great job without me.

Then we've got this play in the day thing tomorrow which is where you turn up in the morning, you are given the name of a play and during the day you write, direct and act the play before performing it in the evening. I was really looking foward to it but now I don't even know if I can be bothered to go if they are all gonna ignore my efforts again.

College is already un-nessisarily stressful, on average I am getting half and hours sleep a night and I have this over-whelming urge to kill somebody. Why can't life ever just run smoothly for once? Why do I have to have an overload of hormones that I swear makes me far to emotional to be normal. And why the hell do I have to be an insomniac.

Once again one of my mini-rants on how crap life is. I promise to bounce back again, I've gotta.
velvetina_belle: (Default)
Appearance update dudes. I am now officially back to my brunette state and loving the fact that people now actually seem to think that I have some intelligence, the fact that they are judging me on my appearance does piss me off slightly. However for the moment I am willing to let that slide because I'm dead chuffed at the combination of the dark colour and bob. If i do say it myself very funky.

Oh and I got to teach my English class, it was so much fun...well kind of. The reason that I got to teach it was my teacher is really sick at the moment and so she came in at the start of one class and said carry on with the first draft of your coursework and I was like urm but I've already handed mine in. So she turned round and said spend this lesson making a lesson plan and you can teach tomorrows english lesson on 'Hamlet' Act Three Scene Two as she reckoned she was going to be too ill to come in. I'll admit it was kinda freaky because I just knew that the buggers in my english class would cause me hell.

Anyway to trick them all at the start of class I set an essay based on the question that we are going ot get in the exam. And they all grumbled at me about it but actually started the essay, I'll admit that was kind of cool to see all my mates actually do what I told them to do for once. But to be fair I didn't actually make them do it because I thought that was kind of mean but in the end split the class into two teams and set up a debate about certain points in the scene and it worked really well! I was dead chuffed and then to make it better I got an email today from my teacher telling me what days we were going to be workking on our coursework and what days we were going to be doing Hamlet, she'd had loads of emails from my classmates saying how good my lesson was and would I mind teaching all of the 'Hamlet' lessons untill she got better as it would take a lot of stress of of her. So here I am a 17 year old teacher, well for a couple of weeks but I kinda like it that people have that much faith in me.

Oh and my last bit of 'big' news. I belong to this theatre group and we are entering this competiton and there are three plays that my supervisors Nina and Jason want to perform two with the younger group and one with my group but as there are only two of them they needed someone to direct our play and go to the conference etc and they CHOSE ME. I'm so eleated and totally pumped about the oppourtunity that is being offered to me. I got that play a little while a go and I love it which always helps. Not to mention I'm the only ever under 18 to do it, how cool is that?

Untill next time


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